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-
- How to Make Bugs Breakdance
- By: The Daredevil
-
- I am about to present you with step by
- step instructions on how to make insects and such to dance around like
- Michael Jackson. Havoc Chaos and I figured this out while over at
- Havoc's home. Bugs can breakdance, despite popular belief!
-
- The first thing you will need is a neat pair of tweezers. Their use
- will become obvious later in this SoftDoc. While tweezers work best,
- I also recommend scissors and (oops.) exacto-knives for those without
- shaky hands.
-
- The next thing you will need is a bug. I highly recommend flies, as
- they are abundant, and nobody really misses them. Some people get
- angry if you use insects like spiders or crickets. (Don't ask me,
- darn those enviromentalists.)
-
- Flies can be found around window sills, fresh meat, or any
- beer-guzzling father. They are pretty much easy to trap, but the catch
- is that you'll need them alive. Fly swatters and newspapers should not
- be used to catch these little buggers. Horse flies also are not
- recommended, as they are supposed to bite. (Hey, i've never been
- bitten. If you have, send me E-Mail, okay? -DD) The common house
- fly works best.
-
- Now, capturing these pests alive is the thing. Get a glass or
- something, and trap it. Wait a while, and watch it fly feebly around
- the jar looking for a way out. If you're smarter than you look, it
- won't get out. It's real fun to shake the jar and stun the sucker.
-
- Take the fly from the jar with a 'kleenex' or something of the like,
- and hold it so it's pitiful wings are accessable to you. Now, with the
- tweezers I mentioned above, pull his wings off.
-
- (AUTHORS NOTE: Some lesser minds have accually called me 'sadistic'
- because of the fact that I pull flies wings off. Well, you don't hear
- them complaining, do you? -DD)
-
- Anyways, now that his wings are gone, all he can do is hop and run
- around like a complete fool. Now, here's the fun part.(What do you
- mean, pulling the wings off was the fun part!?)
-
- The first trick is to teach it the backspin. Put your new-found pet
- in the (a) corner in your room. The fly will then attempt to climb
- the wall. But, the poor, pitiful creature won't make it. He will
- fall to the dusty floor onto his back. This is where you come in. If
- he isn't spinning around, then give him a little help. They will be
- back-spinning in no time at all!
-
- You'll notice that flies without wings jump around a lot. This
- really looks like a neat act, and they can really jump far. (Coming
- next: Fly Olympics? Nahhh...)
-
- To make a fly moonwalk, watch it as it crawls around on your dresser
- top. Give it a fling with your index finger, and it will almost "fly"
- across the space it's in! Not only does it go backwards, but upside
- down, rightside up, right, left, north, south, etc...
-
- My favorite trick is to get a paper plate(You know, the cheap ones
- your mother buys from K-Mart...) and put your friend on top of the
- plate. Bounce him up and down on the plate, and watch him attempt to
- walk afterwards. It's really neat.
-
- Well, this is just about all of the neat little tricks you can do
- with bugs. You can take up boring Sunday afternoons with this
- pasttime, and maybe we'll se a breakdancing bugs contest one of these
- days. Maybe not.
-
- (ANOTHER AUTHOR'S NOTE: Lord Omega of Shadow Keep BBS suggests to
- spray them with 'Windex' and other household items. They really get
- weird, according to him.)
-
- I just also wanted to point out that Havoc the Chaos's Stepmother
- warned us that pulling wings off of flies was beginning signs of
- insanity. We are not in ANY way responsible for people's sanity,
- after they take up this sport. It was rumored that Charles Manson
- liked to play with flies...